I'm That Girl
You know the girl you see and you don’t really think much of. The girl that is always smiling and you say hi to from time to time but that’s it. I’m that girl. The one that seems to know everyone and is with a different person or even alone every time you see her. That’s me. To be honest I’m sick of being that girl. I want a couple of close friends that will always be there for me and will help me through everything. It seems like everyone around me has someone like that. sure, I have a lot of friends but I don’t have anyone who knows who I really am. To be honest I don’t even think I know who I really am. I have spent so much of my life trying to focus on getting along with everyone else I have forgotten to find out who I am and what I like. I can be four different people at one time, it all depends on who I’m with. When I hang out with the theater kids I am absolutely in love with music from different musicals, then when I’m with most of my guy friends it’s all rap music or that type of music, also there’s country music that’s the kind of music I listen to with only a few people. Truth is I don’t know what music is my favorite, to be honest I would rather sit in complete silence and think most of the time. I know someday I will know who I am and what I want but for right now I’m in high school. I’m in no rush. High school is all about experience and I want to have as many as possible in my next year and a half in it. It feels so weird saying that, a year and a half. Damn, it really does go by fast
You know the girl you see and you don’t really think much of. The girl that is always smiling and you say hi to from time to time but that’s it. I’m that girl. The one that seems to know everyone and is with a different person or even alone every time you see her. That’s me. To be honest I’m sick of being that girl. I want a couple of close friends that will always be there for me and will help me through everything. It seems like everyone around me has someone like that. sure, I have a lot of friends but I don’t have anyone who knows who I really am. To be honest I don’t even think I know who I really am. I have spent so much of my life trying to focus on getting along with everyone else I have forgotten to find out who I am and what I like. I can be four different people at one time, it all depends on who I’m with. When I hang out with the theater kids I am absolutely in love with music from different musicals, then when I’m with most of my guy friends it’s all rap music or that type of music, also there’s country music that’s the kind of music I listen to with only a few people. Truth is I don’t know what music is my favorite, to be honest I would rather sit in complete silence and think most of the time. I know someday I will know who I am and what I want but for right now I’m in high school. I’m in no rush. High school is all about experience and I want to have as many as possible in my next year and a half in it. It feels so weird saying that, a year and a half. Damn, it really does go by fast
Who Am I
On New Year’s Eve my friends and I were sitting around a fire talking when someone I haven’t talked to that much sat by me and asked, “who are you?” At that moment I didn’t think into it that much, it was NYE at 11 o’ clock at that point no one is even going to care what I said or remembered the next day, so I just laughed it off and said a person. It’s been a day or so since that question was presented to me, and it’s the only thing I have been able to think about. I’m 17 years old and can’t answer a simple question like “who are you” everyone else in my life seems to know exactly who they are and what they want later in life and could answer that question with a simple answer without even hesitating. There are my friends that would say dancer, fashion stylist, rapper, doctor, actor, etc. Then there’s me….. I’m interested in everything, part of me is interested in all the things they are. I can watch someone dance and be so inspired and go home watch it a few times and have it down, or I could talk to my friends interested in fashion and know exactly what could pair with what. Then there’s the friends that are rappers and well let’s face it, I can’t rap for the life of me but, you can bet that I will be there helping and supporting them through whatever and where ever their dream takes them. Truth is I want to be an actress or a neonatal nurse but let’s face it name one college in the world that offers those two subjects to major in. I use to be able to answer that question without hesitation but high school changed that. I found a new passion, one that a lot of people have and it’s hard to achieve the dream I have but, it’s the chase that makes it fun and all worthwhile. So no I have absolutely no idea who I am but I can’t wait to find out. I wish I could skip forward and see what my life will be like in 15 years but it’s the mystery that makes me want to keep working so hard. If you have a dream chase it, don’t let anyone stand in your way. Determination is everything and if you have that your dream is reachable.
On New Year’s Eve my friends and I were sitting around a fire talking when someone I haven’t talked to that much sat by me and asked, “who are you?” At that moment I didn’t think into it that much, it was NYE at 11 o’ clock at that point no one is even going to care what I said or remembered the next day, so I just laughed it off and said a person. It’s been a day or so since that question was presented to me, and it’s the only thing I have been able to think about. I’m 17 years old and can’t answer a simple question like “who are you” everyone else in my life seems to know exactly who they are and what they want later in life and could answer that question with a simple answer without even hesitating. There are my friends that would say dancer, fashion stylist, rapper, doctor, actor, etc. Then there’s me….. I’m interested in everything, part of me is interested in all the things they are. I can watch someone dance and be so inspired and go home watch it a few times and have it down, or I could talk to my friends interested in fashion and know exactly what could pair with what. Then there’s the friends that are rappers and well let’s face it, I can’t rap for the life of me but, you can bet that I will be there helping and supporting them through whatever and where ever their dream takes them. Truth is I want to be an actress or a neonatal nurse but let’s face it name one college in the world that offers those two subjects to major in. I use to be able to answer that question without hesitation but high school changed that. I found a new passion, one that a lot of people have and it’s hard to achieve the dream I have but, it’s the chase that makes it fun and all worthwhile. So no I have absolutely no idea who I am but I can’t wait to find out. I wish I could skip forward and see what my life will be like in 15 years but it’s the mystery that makes me want to keep working so hard. If you have a dream chase it, don’t let anyone stand in your way. Determination is everything and if you have that your dream is reachable.
Home
I have never had a home, I have only had two houses but never a place that was home. For as long as I could remember it has always been mom’s house and dad’s house, never home. Kids would leave school saying finally I get to go home whereas with me it was always I am going to my mom’s or going to my dad’s. Having two houses is stressful, I constantly have a bag packed to take to the other house or am having to go get something I forgot. Most of all adjusting to the way life is at each house is hard, the way each of my parents communicate is very different. Every time I switch houses I am changing the way I act around everyone, even myself. It is like I am constantly recreating myself. This is how I found my passion. Switching from house to house and being an only child I had to entertain myself a lot. I would start trying new things to keep myself busy that is when I discovered acting. You do not have to be around other people, it is a good way to entertain yourself too. Taking a character from a movie or television show and completely changing them was fun and enjoyable, I would spend hours figuring out how to put certain gestures and movements together to make them look natural. When I was seven I saw my first play it was The Lion King in San Francisco. I remember everything, from waiting outside the theater for them to open the doors to my seat, to the lions walking through the audience and one of them hitting my leg with their mask, and having to be carried out at the end because I was to tired to walk but could not fall asleep from the excitement of seeing the amazing production. Then I knew I wanted to do that I wanted to walk down the aisle or stand on the stage. I would do anything it took to get up there. After that I would put on performances for my family or do a skit at an elderly home center, then when I was ten I was in a play at a local summer program but I still was not happy, it did not seem real. Five years later when I was fifteen it was real. I was in a production of Legally Blonde the Musical by Roustabout Theater. I may not have had a speaking part but I was in almost every scene as an extra which never seemed like it would be that hard but your facial expressions and movements really matter in scenes like that which I had been practicing for as long as I could remember. Two years later I was in a school production called Some Men are More Perfect than Others. This is when I had my moment, again I did not have a big speaking part but I did have a scene. And I owned it. I had been wanting this moment since I was four years old. Nothing was going to ruin it for me. Even the short five minutes I was on stage I lived my passion I was happy. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered, as long as I was on that stage I was safe, I was home.
I have never had a home, I have only had two houses but never a place that was home. For as long as I could remember it has always been mom’s house and dad’s house, never home. Kids would leave school saying finally I get to go home whereas with me it was always I am going to my mom’s or going to my dad’s. Having two houses is stressful, I constantly have a bag packed to take to the other house or am having to go get something I forgot. Most of all adjusting to the way life is at each house is hard, the way each of my parents communicate is very different. Every time I switch houses I am changing the way I act around everyone, even myself. It is like I am constantly recreating myself. This is how I found my passion. Switching from house to house and being an only child I had to entertain myself a lot. I would start trying new things to keep myself busy that is when I discovered acting. You do not have to be around other people, it is a good way to entertain yourself too. Taking a character from a movie or television show and completely changing them was fun and enjoyable, I would spend hours figuring out how to put certain gestures and movements together to make them look natural. When I was seven I saw my first play it was The Lion King in San Francisco. I remember everything, from waiting outside the theater for them to open the doors to my seat, to the lions walking through the audience and one of them hitting my leg with their mask, and having to be carried out at the end because I was to tired to walk but could not fall asleep from the excitement of seeing the amazing production. Then I knew I wanted to do that I wanted to walk down the aisle or stand on the stage. I would do anything it took to get up there. After that I would put on performances for my family or do a skit at an elderly home center, then when I was ten I was in a play at a local summer program but I still was not happy, it did not seem real. Five years later when I was fifteen it was real. I was in a production of Legally Blonde the Musical by Roustabout Theater. I may not have had a speaking part but I was in almost every scene as an extra which never seemed like it would be that hard but your facial expressions and movements really matter in scenes like that which I had been practicing for as long as I could remember. Two years later I was in a school production called Some Men are More Perfect than Others. This is when I had my moment, again I did not have a big speaking part but I did have a scene. And I owned it. I had been wanting this moment since I was four years old. Nothing was going to ruin it for me. Even the short five minutes I was on stage I lived my passion I was happy. It was as if nothing else in the world mattered, as long as I was on that stage I was safe, I was home.